The Artificial Silk Girl

"The industrialist dropped me already. And it's all because of politics. Politics poisons human relationships. I spit on it. The emcee was a Jew, the one on the bike was a Jew, the one who was dancing was a Jew.… So he asks me if I'm Jewish too. My God, I'm not — but I'm thinking: if that's what he likes, I'll do him the favor — and I say: “Of course — my father just sprained his ankle at the synagogue last week.” So he says, he should have known, with my curly hair. Of course it's permed, and naturally straight like a match. So he gets all icy; turns out he's nationalist with a race, and race is an issue — and he got all hostile — it's all very difficult. So I did exactly the wrong thing. But I didn't feel like taking it all back. After all, a man should know in advance whether he likes a woman or not. So stupid! At first they pay you all sorts of compliments and are drooling all over you — and then you tell them: I'm a chestnut! — and their chin drops: oh, you're a chestnut — yuk, I had no idea. And you are exactly the way you were before, but just one word has supposedly changed you."

"There was so much excitement! So I immediately realized that this was an exception, because even the nerves of an enormous city like Berlin can't stand such incredible tension every day. But I was swooning and I continued to be swept along — the air was full of excitement. And some people pulled me along, and so we came to stand in front of an elegant hotel that is called Adlon — and everything was covered with people and cops that were pushing and shoving. And then the politicians arrived on the balcony like soft black spots. And everything turned into a scream and the masses swept me over the cops onto the sidewalk and they wanted those politicians to throw peace down to them from the balcony. And I was shouting with them, because so many voices pierced through my body that they came back out of my mouth. And I had this idiotic crying fit, because I was so moved. And so I immediately belonged to Berlin, being right in the middle of it — that pleased me enormously. And the politicians lowered their heads in a statesmanly fashion, and so, in a way, they were greeting me too."

"“Yes, there are stars," I lie and I give them to him--there are no stars--but there must be some behind the clouds and they must be shining inside-out tonight. I love stars, but I hardly ever notice them. I guess when you're blind, you realize how much you forget to see."

"And he tells me all those strange things and always talks about his wife and what times we have nowadays. Everything is being torn up and destroyed and if you want to be honest, you have to admit that you can't figure things out anymore. And particularly an educated man can't build anything for himself anymore, and everything is uncertain. The whole world is uncertain and life and the future and what we used to believe in and what we believe now, and work isn't fun anymore, because you always have a bad conscience because there are so many people who don't have any. And so a man has nothing but his wife and he's very dependent on her because he wants to be able to believe in something, and that's the love for his wife-- and then she doesn't want all that love and that you're not worth anything at all anymore. And because you're nothing but a burden on humanity these days-- that's why you need that special someone so badly to whom you can be a joy. And then all of a sudden you're no joy anymore. And true elegance is disappearing in this day and age and in times like that, women are the first ones to slide, and men are held by the law and they hold women too-- and once all the laws of humanity have disappeared, man has nothing more to hold onto, but you can't tell, because he never did in a moral sense-- and what falls first in a way to be noticed by everyone, that's always the woman."

"In the morning, he polishes his shoes in the kitchen. He would always polish mine as well. Did he love his wife that much? I guess you always experience the man's previous woman in a man."

"Father thou art in heaven, please make my inside so good and so fine that he can love me. I'm going to buy him a tie, because that's something I can do. Someone once told me that I have an almost masculine understanding of it. i guess there are situations where having a past is to your advantage. Heavenly Father, perform a miracle and give me an education--I can do the rest myself with make-up."